Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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