Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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