why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
