I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
