you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
