What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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