hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
