My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My penis needs a shock collar
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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