I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
