Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
