I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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