Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
