john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
