hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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