Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize