its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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