u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
