I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
