This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
