so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
