Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
