Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
