no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize