remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
