Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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