i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
