Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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