Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Little spoons don't ask big questions
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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