dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
