I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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