Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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