We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
