Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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