Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
