"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
