Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
