Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
