Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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