Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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