my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
