Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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