Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize
