I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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