Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
