Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
only you would photoshop your dick
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
