we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
