Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
