See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
