he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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