the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
