Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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