Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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