i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
