You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
