About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
