idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
