And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
