I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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