do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Damn victory sex feels great
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize