I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
