I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
