come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize